Rediscovering True Self-Care: Building Bonds for a Fulfilling Future

When we talk about “self-care” we usually think about eating right, getting exercise, enough sleep, and reducing stress. I don’t know about you, but when we hear the term, it’s an eye roll and a decision that it’s never going to happen (except the month of January)…and who can really reduce stress if it is inescapable in our current  environment and priorities? 

Is that really “self care”?...and what if you do all of those things and still don't quite achieve the results we are looking for? 

Maybe we need to shift our thinking to the things that are really self care, and last more than a month. After all, caring for yourself may be none of the things we think about. 

When did we shift from being communities to being productive? Economic hardship, worry about the future, long commutes, raising kids who are involved in numerous sports and activities, rushing through meals eaten in the car or while streaming social media and news, etc. The majority of us in the U.S. is focused on money and the status quo that robs us of our mental health and physical health. We feel isolated, unhappy, unfulfilled, and contribute to division and polarization. 

Division and polarization…WHAAAT? 

There is something missing in our lives. It turns out that the essential elements of fulfillment  are relationships, service, and purpose. For many of us, those are not a part of our lives…we are too busy!

These are the things that bind us together, and lead us to fulfillment. These elements are indeed self care…that lasts, and leads to a meaningful life.

These bond us together in ways that traditional “self-care” can not. It’s not as hard as we imagine. It is that sense of community that will impact our mental and physical health, (think depression, anxiety, heart disease and premature death). Kindness, willingness to help your neighbor or someone in need, are very simple acts that connect us to something bigger than ourselves, and perspective that eliminates the focus on ourselves. Am I the only one tired of seeing selfies that brag and lead to the belief everyone is prettier, happier, better, etc.? Why do we need to look at everyone’s food???

Is this what life is all about?

A friend recently shared with me his most fond memories growing up. It was so simple: time together sharing and talking, really talking to their family members and friends. It wasn’t an organized “family night” or even intentional. It was simple: when it was a cold winter, they would light up the wood stove (insert here that we might now use an electric fireplace or a kitchen gas oven).  Everyone gathered around the fire to get warm. It was that necessity that naturally brought the family together. And sometimes neighbors and friends would join in. There was nothing to do except get warm…and talk. They would share stories, laugh, and just enjoy each other’s company while they got warm. It was organic.

Those types of things are what bind us together. They aren’t scheduled on the calendar. They often lead to helping others, walks together (especially with pets), sharing, and deep meaningful relationships. With a little effort we actually might change our lives to center them around people. Stories about people last for generations. Not true about money and status. 

That’s what we would consider sustainable self care… It’s fundamental and has existed throughout time…until now. 

Which life do you dream of? The status quo or relationships and meaning? One may just save your life.